My first day as a consultant coincided with the annual women’s summit, and so the other female new hires and I were invited to join the event. The firm had brought in a “gender empowerment” speaker who mostly seemed focused on addressing the mistakes women made in the workplace.

She went around the room critiquing body language, urging us not to sit with our legs tucked under our bodies “like little girls,” imploring us to stop phrasing everything as a question, and quit apologizing so much. As she spoke about the idea of “power dressing,” she singled out another new hire, Steph, whom I’d just met but with whom I already felt an instant connection. Unlike so many of the other new hires, who were trying desperately to fit in, Steph seemed comfortable being herself, and I found her to be a breath of fresh air.

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