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O Tannen-Bomb

Water your tree to avoid unwanted holiday lighting displays

Greg Fox
Wed, 12/21/2016 - 13:41
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It’s that time of year again. The time when eggs get nogged, pudding gets figgy, and it becomes socially acceptable to speak in rhyme. So on that note, and with apologies to Clement Clarke Moore, I bring you this timely and heartfelt public service announcement. Enjoy.

ADVERTISEMENT

’Twas the week before Christmas, and I couldn’t be bothered,
to make sure that our tree had quite enough water.
“A sprinkling of needles on the carpet, I say,
lends an aura of forest to our yuletide feng shui!”

When what to my web-browsing eyes should appear,
but a horrific video, one that filled me with fear.
’Twas created to warn folks across this great nation,
by the National Fire Protection Association.

A public service message, in which one will learn,
that if your tree is too dry, it’s more likely to burn.
And like a forest long parched by a hot summer drought,
once that sucker’s ablaze, it’s mighty hard to put out.

 …

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