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Taming the Guru: How to Handle Dominant Leaders

Asserting yourself and setting clear boundaries

Photo by Ray Grau on Unsplash
Graham Ward
Mon, 12/04/2023 - 12:02
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In the workplace, we are often in a semidependent state. We seek approval and guidance from colleagues and superiors, all while hiding our deepest vulnerabilities. 

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Our insecurities drive us to seek external validation, which shapes our actions and decisions. In essence, we exhibit what psychologist Robert Kegan refers to as a “socialized mind,” in which we are unable to detach from the expectations of others or make decisions that align with our authentic selves. 

For some, it can feel like a great blessing to enter the ambit of a super-confident, omniscient powerhouse. Such leaders positively glimmer, and we are easily pulled into their orbit when they bestow attention on us. Their gravity can become irresistible, leading us into a Faustian pact where we become uncritical of their words and actions. If enough people join the throng, a guru is born—and danger awaits. 

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