Employees want feedback that is meaningful and relevant to them, but often what they hear sounds like it’s been taken verbatim from one of those phrase books using stock comments like, “Mary is a team player and consistently thinks of others.”

That statement could apply to Mary, or it could apply to apply to Bob or Jane. It’s so nebulous and vague that employees think, “Did you actually pay attention to anything I did this year? Do you even know my name?”

One simple technique to fix this is called a “Proudest Moments” list. It’s basically asking employees to make a list of their proudest moments for the year. Don’t ask them for their biggest failures. Ask them, “What are the moments you are most proud of this past year?”

The list does two really important things for you. First, it avoids really bad omissions. If you go into a performance appraisal conversation with an employee and you neglect to talk about a moment she was most proud of during the past year, that employee is going to be angry. She’s likely to look at you and say, “Did you pay any attention to what I did this year?” Get all of those moments on her Proudest Moments list and know what they are before you go into the performance review.

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