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Criticism, Boundaries, and Useful Feedback

Timing is important

Jesse Lyn Stoner
Thu, 10/20/2016 - 16:25
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Larry was clearly angry. Carl had used his tools (again) without asking, and even worse, hadn’t returned them (again). Larry told me he had given Carl some “tough feedback.”

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He told Carl that he was self-centered and insensitive, and in the future he needed to ask for permission before borrowing anything. He was surprised and indignant that Carl got angry with him.


Photo credit: Bigstock/Digitalista

Larry didn’t understand that telling Carl off is not “giving feedback.” It’s simply criticism. Setting boundaries around what Carl can borrow is a reasonable thing to do, but that’s not “feedback” either.

 …

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