A Look at Risk Management in the World of Dating

A geek’s guide to proactive dating

Published: Wednesday, February 14, 2018 - 13:03

Every year, would-be suitors spend lots on cards, nice trinkets, flowers, and even chocolates, trying to win the attention of their sweetheart or crush. It can be a dangerous game of risk and chance, quite often resulting in disappointment for one or both parties.

This is, I believe, most likely down to the fact that everyone rushes out and buys a traditional bouquet of flowers or box of chocolates and does not pay attention to the actual night out or date. More often than not, the excitement of having a date—or even having got that far—means people don’t spend too much time thinking about what to do and instead just settle on the usual dinner, perhaps at a more expensive restaurant than usual.

Also, not much time is spent thinking about what to actually do on the date. In terms of risk management, I believe this could be likened to being very reactive, i.e., “if something goes wrong, then we will deal with it.” No thought is really given to what comes next or what could happen. This is great if you intend on managing things on an incident-by-incident basis, but in order to adopt a more mature approach, something else is required.

For greater success, your date should be planned out and evaluated. Again, in terms of risk management, this could be likened to being proactive in your approach, i.e., anticipating what could go wrong before you have to deal with it. Much more thought is therefore given to what may happen and how to react if it does, which allows you to be more prepared.

Any dapper gent, wining and dining his partner, may wear a bow tie for a more formal dining experience, depending on the occasion. Conveniently for this article, the bow-tie model is also a common risk-management tool. On the left of the bow tie we have the threats—basically, what could bring about our undesirable event, which in this case would be an awful date. To the right of the bow tie we have the consequences, which in terms of a date may be your “chosen one” walking away, or you managing to inadvertently sour the person on dating for life.

Bow-tie model for dating. Click for larger image.

To combat this we have control measures, such as a shower beforehand to eliminate the threat of poor personal hygiene. Anyone going on a date should at least smell nice! Awkwardness could also be a threat to the date. You don’t need to be a motivational speaker to have a good chat with someone, but having some confidence in yourself often helps. This is also where being prepared comes into the situation. If we know what the other person is interested in, then we can research that topic or at least make sure we bring it into the conversation at some point.

With these control measures in place, there should be less of a chance of there being an awful date. Some measures may be more effective than others, which is why any form of risk assessment should be reviewed often. By that I don’t mean become a serial dater, but learn from your mistakes and move on. In personal life as well as business, there is no such thing as failure, only feedback.

ISO 9001:2015 expresses that positive outcomes and opportunities should also be assessed and evaluated. The most obvious one here would be a goodnight kiss or a second date. If we focus on success, then the bow tie could look completely different from the one above.

Applying some perspective here, within manufacturing environments, things go wrong that cost businesses money. We then apply a quick bandage to it with a corrective action. Some time later the same thing happens, and we reevaluate what we did to fix it in the first place and then apply a larger bandage to the issue. Unfortunately, we don’t often learn from our mistakes, and we have recurring issues. The same could be said about the date: If we don’t learn that we smell, we will never apply a shower to prevent that. If we don’t at least act confident, then we will never manage to hold a level of conversation that keeps the other party interested.

I’m not saying that we should all apply risk-based thinking to our personal lives, because it isn’t practical. However, I do think we are all very good at reactively assessing events as they happen and their effects on us. When bad things happen during a date, most of us deal with it badly and end up listening to songs from Bridget Jones’ Diary about being “All By Myself.” However, if we were all a little more proactive, then perhaps more situations, not just within dating, could turn to our advantage.

About The Author

George Hall

George Hall has worked in the safety, quality and risk management software industry for more than seven years and has more than 12 years experience in customer account management. During this time, George has built up an unparalleled understanding of the common business pains and the operational needs of Ideagen’s customers and new business prospects.