(ISSISSIPPI: Columbus, OH) -- The International Six Sigma Institute and Secret Society for Imperious Professionals of Process Improvement (ISSISSIPPI) today announced that it will no longer charge customers for access to its industry-leading lean Six Sigma training courses. In response to market demand and the growing popularity of portable tablets such as the iPad 2, ISSISSIPPI has decided to make its online training materials available to the public for free and to simultaneously convert them to a more convenient tablet format.
ISSISSIPPI recognizes the competitive nature of today’s lean Six Sigma training market. To compete with heavily discounted or existing “open” online training offerings, ISSISSIPPI firmly believes that the winning combination of zero pricing and mobile learning will draw in thousands of additional customers, who will then be amenable to purchasing other modestly priced tools and materials. While this approach of enticing customers with free content —also known as “freemiums”—has worked poorly for consultancies within the same industry, ISSISSIPPI believes it can avoid the mistakes of its competitors through marketing ingenuity and the dedication of its members.
“The tablet format is ideal for the gemba,” declares ISSISSIPPI CEO Zoltan Minsky. “Our customers can now take their training lessons with them as they walk the process! With the tablet format, customers will not be inconvenienced by sporadic 15-minute server shutdowns or platform incompatibilities. And since our learning content hasn’t generated any revenue anyways, we will not only lean out our sales and accounting staff, but our programming staff as well. Tablets will completely eliminate the costly burden of having to continuously update our training materials. It’s a classic win-win-win-win.”
Determined to lift sagging sales, ISSISSIPPI’s management performed a TRIZ study this winter on how to create durable, dependable learning delivered via a traditional, time-tested medium. After failed attempts with wax, papyrus, wood shavings, adobe, and soapstone, the society finally settled on the stone tablet as the ideal, low-cost solution for its new training content. The abundance of limestone deposits in the Columbus, Ohio, area will provide ISSISSIPPI stone cutters and chiselers with a high-quality local source for their tablets. While somewhat heavy, the tablets can be carried for short distances by two physically fit individuals. Lighter, Mesopotamian-style fired clay tablets will be available as a course option in 2012.
“The real winner is the customer,” explains Minsky. “Not only is the lean Six Sigma training free, but there’s no need to purchase an expensive maintenance contract. The tablets are guaranteed to last a minimum of 40,000 years and are destined to become organizational treasures, handed down through generations of process improvement practitioners.”
Although the tablets themselves are free, there is a modest charge for delivery starting at $945,000 within 100 miles of Columbus, Minsky adds. The fee doubles for every 500 additional miles beyond that geographic zone. ISSISSIPPI will also levee a $250,000 surcharge for overseas shipping.
ISSISSIPPI’s masonry staff has been hard at work producing the new tablets. The first course to be released this month will be the Yellow Belt, which will consist of 340 individual tablets, each weighing approximately 75 pounds, for a total weight of 12.75 short tons. The tablets will be available in eight languages: English, Etruscan, Sanskrit, Proto-Indoeuropean, Umbrian, Sumerian, Esperanto, and Elbonian. All courses will include two hammers, four carbide stone chisels, and 10 additional blank tablets for interactive group exercises. For a limited time, ISSISSIPPI will include a customized abacus with each order. The abacus set can be dangled from a rawhide rope around the waist for mobile computing.
For additional information on these free courses, visit http://www.ississippi.org.