I first read about training in listening skills about 25 years ago. I didn’t really understand the difference between hearing and listening. I thought people had hearing problems. Now I get it.
Everybody talks
I see people talking loudly on cellular phones at airports, in shopping malls and in gyms, all while doing something else. It took me a while to get used to ignoring people talking on cell phones. At airports, I would be walking to the departure gate, and hear a loud “Hello!” I thought somebody was calling me until I turned around and saw them apparently talking to themselves. I eventually figured out that they were using a headset and talking to someone on their cell phone.
What is listening?
Listening implies hearing with interest and with the intent of taking action. While my kids were growing up, their teacher would tell the students to “tune in” when she was talking. At home, parents talk and try to make their kids listen, and the kids easily tune them out. How many times have you gone to a meeting where people are present, but almost nobody is listening to the presentation? Many speakers bring associates to their sessions so someone will actually listen to them when they talk.
Many arguments between countries start when somebody’s comments are simply perceived to be insulting or false. At work, people often have mindless, destructive conversations and are always ready to attack at the earliest opportunity, trying to act like experts. I once worked at a large company where one person would do the work, another would write the report and a third one would send an e-mail taking the credit. That‘s how we communicated.
In the midst of the communication age, why do we communicate so poorly? It’s not as if we aren’t taught to speak. Teachers and parents teach children how to use good talking manners, how to speak in public and how to give presentations, including with computer software. There are many debates and speech competitions. At work, we may have to take a class in giving effective presentations, sometimes over and over again.
What’s missing?
Speaking well isn’t the problem. Listening is. We learn about talking and presenting our ideas to others, but not about listening, so there is an imbalance between listening and talking. In Shut Up and Listen: The Truth about How to Communicate at Work (Kogan Page, 2004) the authors, Theo Theobald and Cary L. Cooper, identify attributes for effective listening as:
We want to listen to others but usually we don’t, except during first meetings, negotiations or announcements. For people to listen to others, maybe they must find a way to engage themselves either as negotiators or as curious people and find something interesting to enjoy or learn. We all listen well when it comes to a free lunch, a party announcement or anything that sounds like fun. Finding an interest in the subjects to which we listen helps us become better listeners.
How much should we talk?
When we listen carefully to what others have to say, we can formulate our responses better than when we try to respond to half-heard comments. As a rule of thumb, I think we should listen twice as much as we talk. That may be why we have two ears and only one mouth. Use your best listening skills during your high-energy time of day when you need to perform critical communication.
Cooper and Theobald recommend first recognizing your knowledge about the subject you’re talking about and the need for others to benefit from your expertise, as well as the likely effect of what you’re saying and the length of your talk. Even a good talk can cause adverse effects due to poor timing.
I have found that students like classes with less talking and more activities, exercises and multimedia. Most communication is nonverbal anyway, so talking contributes only a little to overall understanding and sometimes actually hinders it.
What has listening to do with Six Sigma?
I have found that many times we spend significant resources in applying Six Sigma tools and methods only to discover what somebody in the organization already knows, usually the guy on the low end of the totem pole. The person working closest to the process knows the most about it, which still comes as a surprise to many Six Sigma professionals who pay more attention to a person’s position than to her ability. Maybe if we had listened to them we wouldn’t have spent valuable resources reinventing the wheel.
Statistics won’t give us all the answers, and listening to people who work with the process will always accelerate improvement and its benefits.
Praveen Gupta is the founding president of Accelper Consulting (www.accelper.com), has worked at Motorola and AT&T Bell Laboratories, and consulted with nearly 100 small- to large-size companies including CNA, Abbott Labs, Superior Essex, Dentsply, Hexel, Experian, Sloan Valves, Weber Markings, Wayne State (Ford), and Telular. Gupta taught Operations Management at DePaul University, and Business Innovation at Illinois Institute of Technology, Chicago. He has conducted seminars worldwide for over 20 years.
He is the author of several books including Business Innovation in the 21st Century, Stat Free Six Sigma, Six Sigma Performance Handbook, and Service Scorecard.
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